Today, for good or bad, online dating is one of the most popular ways to meet people. The popularity of Internet dating sites has added to this new way of getting to know someone. Nowadays, you can find dating websites for almost any interest. Whether you’re just looking for a One Night Stand or have some specific spiritual, lifestyle, or other needs, there is someone out there for you who is just a few mouse clicks away. And for those with few social skills it is an ideal way to get to know people. So, with all the great dating sites online today, it has become easier than ever to find someone
Of course, care must be taken when using the One Night Stand for this. The biggest difference between online dating and dating someone you meet in person is that you do not have the same ability to interact with them in person. You don’t have the same chance to look in their eyes and see if they are who they say they are. This is why caution should be used online. Common sense is absolutely essential when considering dating anyone, but more importantly someone you have met online.
One Night Stand Special : Dating Methods and Tips
Have you ever had a dating situation that started out great but then went downhill rapidly when things got more serious? This seems to be a fairly common phenomenon -- and a tremendously frustrating one. This reminds me of a question one of my students once asked me: "Do you believe that both parties of a relationship must first have self-love in order to function healthily without attachment and dependency?"
The short answer to that question is 'Yes'. But you didn't come here for the short answer, so here's the long answer.
The self-love question is essential. Let's talk about the 'self-concept'. Basically, our self-concept encompasses all our beliefs and judgments about ourselves. The self-concept attempts to satisfy two motives simultaneously: self-enhancement and self-consistency.
Generally, people like things that give them self-enhancement (e.g. compliments). However, if you don't like yourself, then the self-enhancement runs into the self-consistency requirement (e.g. "Why does he like me when I'm clearly not deserving").
In the beginning of a relationship, when you start dating, the self-enhancement motive is dominant. But as a relationship becomes longer term, the self-consistency motive starts to dominate, and what you get is the partner with low self-esteem thinking that the other partner is insincere, lying and just buttering her (or him) up.
And then she breaks up with you. Basically because you were being a sincere, genuine, complimentary kind of guy. (This also explains why some women gravitate again and again towards jerks -- because the jerk is fulfilling her self-consistency requirement *exactly*. Rather unfortunate.)
2) How does she treat other people? She may be treating you nicely, because we usually put our best foot forward at the outset of a relationship when we start dating. But how about the rest of the world? Generally people treat others with the same degree of respect they have for themselves (think about that one for a sec). So if she's mean to others, treats others like dirt and is generally unreasonable and demanding, chances are she thinks that's the kind of treatment she deserves herself as well. Be very, very wary of such a companion.
3) Is her speech mostly positive or negative? Is the glass half full or half empty? Are her days a litany of disaster and conspiracy against her happiness? Is she inordinately fond of words like can't, won't, didn't, isn't going to, shouldn't, etc etc? Once again, we tend to see the world not as it is but as we are. Beware.
In the absence of extended contact, these three clues should keep you in good stead. That's the kind of teaching I like to conduct in all my seminars: tools you can use IMMEDIATELY to enhance your fulfillment and success in life, especially in dating.
How Possible Is Dating Without Sex?
Trust in a relationship is a funny, fragile thing. On the one hand, it is a basic essential ingredient of a successful partnership between you and your lover. A relationship just does not work without it. On the other hand, when it disappears, bad things happen. The relationship may well go right down the drain.
Even if it is not wrecked completely, it will be a slow and difficult job to get things back on an even keel. In a word, once bitten, twice shy. Or, to put it another way, if a man cheated or abused her (verbally or physically), why should she trust him or anyone again? HOW can she put her faith in someone again? Answer: she can't. At least not for now.
It is a common reaction to blame all men for the sins of her boyfriend or spouse. And do not rush to judgement here. Men do the same thing and react much the same way, when faced with betrayal and lack of trust from their girlfriends. The point is, you need to keep all this unpleasant stuff in the back of your mind, when dating a girl who has trouble trusting you or any man.
Without seeming to, she is watching closely to see how you interact with her kids. If you don't, that could be a deal-breaker. Also, tell her she is hot. Let her know you loved the hamburgers she whipped up in nothing flat. Women can be insecure, and she needs reminding what a wonderful, beautiful girl she really is.
Building trust in a relationship in this way, may seem like a tall order at first. It may even seem to you that you are putting a lot more into this relationship than you are getting out of it. Stick it out, and it should pay off hugely later on. Things will balance out as the relationship progresses. And you could well find yourself with a loving, caring girl who simply adores you!
One Night Stand-
Dating - How To Prevent The 'Marriage Shift' In Long-Term Dating And Detect Self-Esteem In Your Date